


Cake or Death? Gaiden Edition

by Tochira



Series: Cake or Death? [1]
Category: Saiyuki Gaiden
Genre: Cake, Crack, Gen, Tenpou's terrible housekeeping, now includes Tenpou's terrible baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tochira/pseuds/Tochira
Summary: My computer tells me that I wrote this in 2007. It might be older, who knows. If it makes you laugh, hooray! If it makes you cringe... well, I wrote this in 2007.
Series: Cake or Death? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206491
Kudos: 2





	Cake or Death? Gaiden Edition

**Author's Note:**

> My computer tells me that I wrote this in 2007. It might be older, who knows. If it makes you laugh, hooray! If it makes you cringe... well, I wrote this in 2007.

Kenren would've said Tenpou looked sheepish, except that was the last word that would ever enter his mind while in Tenpou's presence. Anxious, perhaps. Furtive. 

Crap, furtive was never good. 

"What's up?" Kenren decided to err on the side of caution and shut his office door behind him as he stepped fully into the hallway. Why risk his own belongings?

"I have a question for you, Kenren."

"...O-kay..." 

"Which would you prefer, cake or death?"

Kenren thought he must have misunderstood. "Cake. Or death."

"Yes, those are your options."

"May I ask why I must choose between those particular things?"

"Call it a rhetorical exercise."

Kenren leveled his best 'you've got to be shitting me' glare at his friend.

"Fine. Goku wanted to bake a cake. I... helped."

"This doesn't end well, does it."

Tenpou chewed on his cigarette. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. 

"The cake is hiding underneath Konzen's desk and won't come out."

Kenren had to pause for a moment to admire that sentence. "Well. I guess we'd better find some backup, then. C'mon." He led the way in the direction of Konzen's office, keeping his eyes peeled for anyone who looked low-ranking enough to order about. 

Ah, success. "Hey, you!"

"Sir?" A field soldier's uniform. Tenpou looked him in the eye, and he gulped. 

"Can you come with us for a moment? We would appreciate your assistance with something." 

"Yes sir!" The soldier fell in behind them. When they reached Konzen's office door, Kenren pressed his ear to the door and listened carefully. He thought he heard a sort of sticky growling noise.

"Soldier, a question." Kenren felt a pang of sympathy for the man. "Before you go in-- cake or death?" 

"...Wha?" Tenpou smiled in that way of his that always made Kenren's skin crawl.

"Do you want cake, or death?" 

"Whose death?" _Good question._ Kenren wished he'd thought of that one.

"Silly ass. Yours, of course." Tenpou's smile was almost fond.

"Um. Cake?"

"Hm. Fine, your funeral then. Off you go!" And Tenpou had swung open the door and shoved the hapless man through before he - or Kenren - could protest. 

"Hey wait I thought I chose caAAAAAAUGH." _*glorgle*_

Kenren winced. "Was that really necessary?"

Tenpou's smile grew wider. "Well, now when we tell Konzen that there is a man-eating chiffon cake lurking in his office, it won't be an exaggeration." Kenren repressed simultaneous urges to shudder and roll his eyes.

"You know, I think I'll let you break that to him."


End file.
